Intro:

Joe: Welcome to the neuro nerds set every single week. Mean it every single week. Very special episode I have with me, a very new homie. Now, when I say new friend, we have been friends now officially for less than 24 hours. Misha I have with me, my new dear friend. Meesha Monsanto. How are you doing Misha?

Misha: I’m good. I’m good. I’m so happy to be here and, um, celebrate our newfound friendship. So I’m super excited.

Joe: It’s it’s wild. We were just discussing of air, how we had just recently met yet. I feel like we’ve known each other for like a really long time. There’s something about this shared brain injury experience that just connects us on a level that’s like it’s indescribable

Misha: 100%.

That’s our community like your family bond. As soon as you meet someone, every time someone reaches out to me, which I have a lot of people do about their stories and they want to share, you know, that they’re a survivor and you just immediately, like, it clicks like that bond just sparks, you know, inside of you.

And it is it’s indescribable like that, you know, no one will ever understand the things that we understand and there’s comfort in knowing that. Other people, no, they actually understand you. Like they actually relate completely. And it’s the best feeling ever.

Joe: It’s an understanding on a level that your family and your friends and your closest people will never understand because having a brain injury, it’s not something that I can describe to you.

It’s not something that I can say, this is what it feels like we can try, but it pales in comparison to what it’s truly like. So that being said, how are you part of this amazing community?

Misha: Uh, last year, I, my year anniversary is coming up on the 14th. Um, I was in Susan dark, California, which is like two hours outside of Reno, Nevada in the middle of like, absolutely nowhere.

Like, of course, of course. Like that’s when things like this happened, right. Just like normally near a hospital. So I was out there and. I noticed my, I couldn’t talk first. And then the face, like my face started drooping. I lost all control of the right side of my, my mouth, my face, my eye. Um, my right hand and arm went completely numb and locked up.

And I couldn’t open my hand. I thought at the time that it was like maybe an allergy to food we had had in Susan VAR, California, because you never know, you know, we had some, uh, fish it’s nowhere near an ocean kind of place. I thought it was an allergic reaction. And of course you Google it. And the first thing that pops up is this a stroke symptoms.

You need to go to the hospital. And I was like, there’s just no way. There’s no way I’m having a stroke. So I didn’t go, uh, I waited about nine hours and then I was like panicking and the next day, and I was like, I think I should go and just check this out. And immediately they were. Yeah, you’re having a stroke.

I’m like, really? Are you sure?

Joe: So by that time, this is nine hours later. And, um, I’m assuming the, the deficits have gotten significantly worse.

Misha: Yeah, by that time it was like getting physically, it was getting worse, but then mentally I was starting to panic and I was like, there’s definitely something wrong.

This is not normal. And like, you know, I don’t know what your experience was, but it really wasn’t so dramatic. You know, you have like, it’s like, I can’t open my hand. My face is kinda numb. It’s not like excruciatingly painful, you know, there’s not a lot words. Okay. I have to go, I’m having a heart attack right now.

It, they were kind of like these insidious Lil type symptoms that you get, but you know, deep down that something serious is wrong. So when I drove myself two hours, oh my God, I’m driving 90 miles an hour, just like freaking out. And I still was in shock. Cause I was like, I couldn’t understand why I would have a stroke.

I’m I was 31 years old at the time. And I’m like, how am I having stroke? That doesn’t make any sense come to find out. It made sense because I had gotten the COVID-19 vaccine. About a month prior. I had had COVID shortly before that. And then on the second dose a week after I got my second dose of the vaccine, I had a stroke and they such a, it’s such a crazy that they determined that I had blood clots from either there were conflicting theories between COVID and the vaccine, which depends on who you ask.

But the clot was formed, went to my heart and I had a PFO, which is on the heart. So it shot into my brain. So all these things that you didn’t even know before, too, it’s like, it was a lot to process. It’s like, wait, I I’m having a stroke. Um, I have a hole in my head. What’s happening here. There’s blood brought in my brain.

Joe: Oh. So it was just like, it was a series of unfortunate events.

Misha: It was, it truly was, it was just shocking

Joe: after another, they couldn’t determine whether it was the vaccine or COVID cause both of them as far as I understand, cause blood clots. So it was just like, well, it was one of the two, one of

Misha: the other, and that’s why, I mean, I have a hard time with it because it makes more sense.

It would be the vaccine because of the proximity to like when I had it, but you know, who really knows, right.

Joe: It just so happens to be one of those things, you know, it it’s and the fact that it was a, it was a PFO, which is basically the hole in your heart that we’re all born with and it just never seals.

So you’re just staying. Okay. And the only reason you know, that is because you had your stroke, you could have gone the rest of your life, not even knowing.

Misha: And I think it’s what, like a quarter of the population walks around just like a

Joe: massive amount, massive amount that they don’t even know. So with PFO, same thing with like AVMs, uh, AVM, uh, anterior ventricular malformations, uh, it’s basically like a, it’s like a, a cluster, um, that you have in your brain.

Like, so many of us are walking around with those because there’s no issues. And then some of, some of us, like, it’ll like it’ll explode and stop blood flow to the brain. You have a stroke and it’s like, oh yeah, this person has an AVM, but there’s a huge portion of the population that actually just has them floating around.

We’ll never know the rest of their lives. Same thing with the PFO.

Misha: It’s insane. Fun, weird things about your body that you had no idea.

Joe: Right? It’s what makes you, you, what makes you unique? Um, so you went to the hospital nine hours later. Yes. You drove yourself.

Misha: Yeah. They’re also pleased about that. They’re like really,

Joe: really?

I got to tell you over here, I’m not thrilled about it, but I mean, I understand it too. Um, I

Misha: had denial,

Joe: first of all, of course, of course. What now let me ask you a question. Were you somebody that went to the doctor to begin with, or you really like, I just don’t want to go.

Misha: Um, I really don’t like going and I wasn’t going to go.

Um, I was encouraged to go by everyone around me and who I called and whoever was talking to who said that obviously, really? You need to go, the person I was with was like, I’m going to take you to the hospital. I think you’re over sharp. And I was like, no, did

Joe: you know what a stroke was before?

Misha: So that’s an interesting question because not really, I mean, I thought, you know, and I think that’s such an interesting topic to bring up because most people really don’t know what like strokes are or like what the symptoms are.

As I think one of the most notable ones that I’ve ever seen was the girl on TV that, you know, was confused. And she was, uh, she was a news anchor and she was in the middle of her report, just jibberish came out and they said, you know, she had a stroke, but I don’t think the general population really hasn’t good myself included at the time.

Now we’re, we’re experts through experience, but, you know, I don’t think the general population has quite an idea of what it’s like to have a stroke. Like when we’re seeing people who have strokes,

I

Joe: don’t think they do. This is why I think, you know, we have to talk about this a lot more than. I didn’t know what a stroke was until I had a stroke.

I was always under the assumption that a stroke was a heart attack. That’s what it is. I was a heart attack and it happens to old people. That’s, that’s all I knew about strokes. I had no idea that there was this giant chunk of the population that can have strokes. I have met in my I’m going on six years, post stroke.

I have met like the most amazing people, which is amazing. So many pediatric stroke survivors I met for the first time a few weeks ago. Well, now it’s like a couple months ago. Um, my first, uh, stroke survivor that had their stroke in utero. So this is someone who was not even in this earth yet. They were still in their mother’s stomach and they had a stroke, which I didn’t even think was possible that wasn’t even on my radar.

So whenever.

Misha: That was one of the, but I still didn’t understand like what it was. He had cerebral palsy and he had a stroke and mine was on the raft. His is on the right side, uh, frontal lobe of his brain. So that’s what they determined that he had a stroke prior to birth. So it was like I said in utero, isn’t that

Joe: crazy?

Thank you to our amazing community on Patrion for supporting this podcast, you can support us too and get different perks and gifts depending on which neuro Jedi tier you sign up. For example, if you’re on our neuro paddle on $5 here, then you’re probably listening to this episode a day early before it’s public release.

Your support helps us grow and continue to create this podcast. Plus a portion of the proceeds go to a different cause or individual in the brain injury survivor community each month. Sign up at patrion.com/the neuro nerds. That is amazing. What now was the cerebral palsy, a result of the stroke? Yeah.

That’s a little warrior kid where mom or your child?

Misha: Oh yeah. Well, that’s why it was so like such a strange, like it comes around full circle, you know, it’s like speaking of the child, now there it is

know on those newscasts, when people are broadcasting from home,

Joe: th the ones that cracked me up is where they have like the other person, they grabbed them and they snatched them out of there.

Misha: Well, that’s what should be happening here in a minute, waiting for drag away.

Joe: You know, what’s amazing about that.

No, no worries.

Misha: I’m so sorry. Um,

this is my office and he like, keep Rob is being in here. Well, I’ll,

Joe: I’ll, I’ll tell you why. Great lighting. I

Misha: love it. This is an afternoon. It’s fabulous. He comes and hangs out with me and of course he just got back from school. Sorry. I apologize.

Joe: I was getting back from school. I would be crying too. I

Misha: know he had a long, long day.

He was up working with me late last night, too. So there’s all kinds of issues. I have a detached garage slash office, so I’m hoping that his babysitter can handle that.

Joe: It’s okay. If you need to handle whatever you need to like. No worries.

Misha: I’m screaming

Joe: in the background. Remember we’ve known each other for less than 24 hours.

So we’ve known each other

Misha: forever. Sorry. I’m so sorry. That’s okay.

Joe: No, no, no, no apologies needed at all. Hey, this is exactly what it is. This is life, you know, sun stroke survivor in utero, mother stroke, survivor. You guys are like a family meant for advocacy.

Misha: Seriously. Right now

Joe: you are considered a very young stroke survivor and your son.

Oh my gosh is like such a small percentage of stroke survivors out there. You guys are both living proof that stroke can happen to anyone. Any place any time there there’s. No. Well, it won’t happen to me that just that doesn’t exist.

Misha: It doesn’t discriminate to, I got you. Like you said previously, you mostly think that it’s older people or people that are sick or that’s really the only two.

I ever thought, because when you see the commercials for the pharmaceuticals where it’s like, you know, stroke is always the side-effect, but it’s something like Cialis or one of the medications that younger people wouldn’t necessarily use potentially. So yeah. Your perception of what stroke is, it’s not accurate.

Um, that’s why I think it’s so great to, um, be an advocate, you know, for stroke awareness and we are living proof that they can happen to me. It can happen to you. Um, we’re relatively healthy human beings, younger, not, and it’s scary. And the damages are permanent. I don’t know what kind of deficits you have.

But my, as you mentioned, memory, which I lay on that, on that one, I can’t remember anything. And I just, you’re doing your, the way you think changes also because your brain is affected. So how are you perceive. The world and process things is totally different. It’s like, there’s a shadow over everything.

Joe: You’re like you, I say all the time I woke up in a brand new body and I woke up in a brand new brain. Like, I really feel like, you know, we were reborn the way we think the way we process is completely different, you know, it’s, it’s everything. It’s it’s I kind of refer to like, if we drop. The computer works still,

Misha: please.

Just it doesn’t, it’s not as fast. It

Joe: doesn’t get there quickly, you know? So it it’s, that’s what it is. Like we have a little bit of a, a glitchy brain, but the more we work it, the better it’s going to be. You’re still, and I can’t stress this enough. You’re so early in your recovery. You’re so early, you know, and I’m also thankful that you came on the show because you’re celebrating one year.

This is a big deal. This episode will come out on your one-year stroke. Aversary which for me, it’s the best day of the year. My struggle bursary. I don’t celebrate birthday. Like I don’t celebrate my birthday. I just never have my stroke. I rage. It’s a rebirth. So my suggestion to you, I tell this to everybody who’s celebrating or who doesn’t celebrate their stroke.

Aversary do something on that day for you. It’s your day. You can do anything, everything or nothing, but it’s your day. So my suggestion would be, do something that you couldn’t do when you were in the house. Go for a walk in nature, maybe, you know, do something that you just, that brings you some kind of joy, be around friends, family, be by yourself, do whatever it is that you want to do, because that day is your day and day to celebrate.

And I hope you do celebrate,

Misha: oh, I celebrate, celebrate I to celebrate every day. That’s like, I literally I’m fully into that mindset where I think that, and even immediately after it happened, I never had, I mean, you have fear obviously uncertainty about the future, or I didn’t know. And from my job. If my mouth and hands don’t work, I have a problem that roses a serious issue was actually funny because the New York post picked up that story because I made a comment that I couldn’t do left-handed Handjobs anymore.

I have to do left-handed hand jobs now because I had a stroke and I couldn’t use my hand. So there were all these real concerns with it, but I never lost sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. Like I was always positive. I always had this really upbeat, positive mindset, which I think is important for healing.

And just in life in general, I have that outlook on it. And it’s easy, you know, when you’re in these tragic life-changing events to get sucked into, you know, I miss my old life. I do, you know, I guess who I was, I missed, you know, not being able to like. I have having to write things down just to remember the day kind of thing, you know, miss speaking, not being able to speak as well as I used to, or not being able to recall words that I’d like to, but you said it’s kind of like the speed, the volumes I’m turned down completely.

So it’s frustrating. So you have to deal with these things on a daily basis. Um, but it should be a positive thing. I mean, we’re here, we’re alive. We are given this gift and opportunity to live our lives and then to help others and to help others.

Joe: Yeah. Okay. I love everything that you just said. And also, I just want to, um, uh, point out to the listeners, we’re talking about hand shops as a career.

Um, Misha is an adult film actress,

Misha: sorry,

Joe: side note, you know, it was weird, you know? Oh yeah, yeah. At a, um, at a tax firm as an accountant, I was handing out hands up. That’d be a really weird accounting agency. Um, but, um, so, uh, speaking on that, how long have you been in the industry

Misha: then? I really started it full bore.

I’ve kind of been my toe in and out of it for about 10 years, but I jumped all the way into the adult industry pool about two and a half years ago. And then COVID happened at first. So that was super helpful for that. And yeah, I I’ve had a really successful career thus far I’m I was nominated. Last year Mo multiple awards for AVN expos, all of these different awards.

And then my, they actually did a showcase DVD. It’s an adult, it’s a triple X showcase, personal showcase, and my stroke stuff was in it. And it was just critically acclaimed and nominated across the board. And we’re actually cutting a mainstream documentary from that.

Joe: No, that’s, I think that’s great. Any way that we can advocate any way that we can get this information out to the masses.

I am on board with a hundred percent because as for strokes, nah, this is mindblowing. 90% of all strokes can be prevented 90%. Yeah, my stroke 100% was preventable. It’s just my idiocy that made it happen. But we have to explain to people, number one, what a stroke is, what are the signs of stroke? And then what to do.

If you have any of these signs, most importantly, get to the doctor, don’t ignore things. Don’t do things like I really feel like something really bad is happening. I was going to hang out for like nine hours, probably a really bad idea.

Misha: Yeah.

Joe: You know, like, okay, if you think that you have a stroke having sex afterwards, probably not the best idea, even though at some point you’re going to hit the point where you’re gonna be like, I don’t know if I’m coming or going, not a good idea, go straight to the hospital

Misha: in hindsight, it’s like, well, you know, the thing is I wouldn’t have gone. I didn’t want to go there because we were literally in this tiny town. And I was like, if I’m having a stroke, I don’t know if this is the best place I want to be.

Joe: You already probably made the best decision to go to a place that you were familiar with, where you knew what the medical care was.

I.

Misha: Just world renowned medical care. Um, my doctors, my neurologist, my cardiologists, they’re all just wonderful. And they were, you know, the hospital staff was delightful and, um, they’re come in and one of the nurses like braid my hair and we go for walks that’s so

Joe: that care is so sweet and it means so much to us in those really vulnerable time.

Misha: Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, you, you feel empty during the night first, especially like the first I’d say, like, I dunno for me, it was probably a couple months, but the, the really drastic emptiness loneliness came right away and like in the hospital and then like probably a week or two phone, not because then you have a damaged brain, that’s trying to process everything that just happened to.

Uh, and what does your life look like? You know, I am lucky. I actually regained probably 80%, if not more of my physical abilities. Amazing. And I’m so thankful for that, but then it’s also frustrating to me because people don’t get it still because they’re like, oh, you don’t look like you had a stroke. I I’m so glad you recovered from your stroke.

And I’m like, eh, I’m not, I haven’t recovered. I don’t think I’ve ever gone into recovered. Honestly.

Joe: You and I make a lot of people uncomfortable because we, and I’m doing the quote fingers. We look so normal, you know? So again, this is a skin deep, that’s all it is. It’s skin deep.

Misha: Yeah. They don’t, they don’t want to show any kind of, not remorse, but they don’t want to visualize themselves in us, like right.

Which I understand that completely. And it’s easier to just. Push it off and say, think of it as like that’s a compliment, even though it’s kind of like a back end

Joe: it’s it’s so bad. It’s very dismissive of what we, we feel because it’s like, it’s very superficial. You look great. Yeah. But inside it’s chaos, but I don’t want to talk about that, but you look good.

It’s, it’s very frustrating. Very annoying. It’s it’s one of the top things that you just should never say to a brain injury survivor. You just don’t know. Not at

Misha: all. You look great. Like you must up. I

Joe: understand Ray. I do understand. They’re just trying to connect. I get that. And I give them a little bit of leeway.

You’re trying to connect. That’s fine. Just the one thing I try to like, this is why I talk about it often. You can never understand what we go through. You absolutely can not. So phone number will first and foremost, do not compare if I’m saying I’m tired, I’m feeling fatigued. Do not tell me. Oh, I’m tired too.

Yeah, it does not work that way. I had, um, Uh, the, the, the frustrating thing is, cause we have neuro fatigue. It’s completely different than physical fatigue. When you go to the gym. Cause somebody was like, oh, I went to the gym and I woke up early for work and I picked up the kids and I’m exhausted. I was like, that’s, that’s fine.

I, I woke up and I read two lines of something and I had to take like a six hour nap. The difference between exhaustion and fatigue is like what? The neuro fatigue, when you’re tired, after working out, you can go to sleep, rest your body recharges and you feel fine. You wake up refreshed with neuro fatigue.

You can sleep for weeks and wake up just as tired. It does not go away. It’s not the, it’s just not the same thing. So stop comparing.

Misha: Yeah. They don’t get, I, I sleep during the day in the morning at night I was on and everybody’s always like, oh, on your sleeping, they got, oh, you must’ve worked so hard today.

Uh, Udacity that you have, because then people like equate that to like you’re lazy or that like I’m milking it still like people that are so they’re like, oh, are you still like trying to bring the stroke for stuff? Like what?

Joe: Yeah. People are, oh my God, the nicest way to put this as a people are fucking ignorance.

That’s a better way to describe it. You know, it it’s, it’s, it’s really, really hard because you and I, for the most part, we suffer from invisible deficits. You can’t see what we go through. You don’t, you can’t see, you can’t see, um, flooding, which is just the, the overwhelming sensations we have when the information is coming out as too fast, they can’t see the difficulty that we have processing, you know, the constant feeling of overwhelmed.

Like you can’t see that you can’t see neuro fatigue, you can’t see brain fog. Can’t see that stuff. We suffer from that every single day. It’s very uncomfortable for us, you know? Don’t compare, I guess the best way. Just don’t compare. Don’t be a Dick. I been saying this forever, I’ve been saying 20, 20, 20, 20.

Don’t be a Dick 2021. Don’t be at 2022. Don’t be a Dick. Just don’t say anything. You know, if you want to understand, talk to us, we’ll explain. Don’t compare, take it. I guess that’s the best or make assumptions ever, you know, net

Misha: crazy that they do too. It’s like, it’s a Bayer have determined in their mind, you know?

Oh, you look good. You’re you’re fine. So what’s the big deal. Why are we still like talking about this? Because that, again, like that’s, because there’s a lack of understanding about what strokes are generally like the general public does a significant, we worked perspective on what strokes really are and what surviving one looks like, because they think the grant there I go and people always tell me too, that stuff they’re like, oh my God, he got a stroke that you’re so young.

Uh, my grandpa had. And, you know, he is like, he’s like fucked up from it. And I’m like, well, yeah, but because they met like physically or they die, or, you know, and they’re like, why are you like really did well, you know, going through recovery and it’s like, it literally your grandpa and I are the same person, essentially.

Like, even though my face, thank God, came back. Um, and some peoples, unfortunately don’t, but those deficits, they range. It’s a series of hearings and

Joe: everyone, our thumb, our brains, our fingerprints they’re snowflakes, no two are the same. So you and I can have the exact same thing and have completely different things happen to us.

You know, I tell people this all the time now, you know, Luke Perry, he passed away recently over the past two years, he had a stroke two years ago and he passed away from his stroke, Luke Perry. And I would be the exact same age today. We both had the exact same stroke. He had an erotic stroke, just like. I am functional, which gives me a lot of survivor’s guilt.

It gives me a lot of like, there’s so many issues that come with that, but that just proves, and again, this is a celebrity who I’m sure had access to the best medical care. He didn’t make it. I did no strokes are the same, no brain injury impacts people the exact same because we’re all unique individuals.

And as for recovery, recovery is ongoing. That’s just what that is. And I stress to people that an alcoholic will, can never have a drink the rest of their lives. They will always be a recovering alcoholic, right. You and I can go forward and hopefully we will and never have any more issues, but you and I will always be recovering from a brain injury.

Always. That’s just what this is. Um, I spoke to a survivor and cause I was struggling with the fatigue. Like I early on in my first year, this is why I’m saying you’re so early in this, my first year I would fall asleep. Mid-sentence. Oh, yeah, I’d be talking to somebody. I would just nod off. Like I was like, I was doped up, but I wasn’t, I was just so tired.

I was just knocked out. I asked she was around 15, 16, 17 years out. And I said, how does it get better? And she says, yes and no. She said, I, she went, when I say years, she went years with no issues, no issues, no problems. No. Like she had the brain fog really hard. And then like, it just went away forever. And then years and years and years later, it came back with a vengeance.

And she was like, there was a patch of a few months where just the fatigue, the fog hit. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t, it she’s like, so it’s an ebb and flow. You just have to be aware of it. So just when you think you’re out of the water, I’m not saying this to be a fear monger. I’m not, I’m just saying this to educate people.

Just just understand you might not be out of the wall, just be prepared. I want are my heads in the clouds. I want everything to be fine. I want everybody to heal a hundred percent, but also have a foot on the ground. The reality is in these issues might creep up. You know, also you have to kind of like look at when, okay, well, why am I so fatigued that I do a lot today was a lot of overthinking.

Was I around some negative people where the emotions weird were the, is it the lights? Is it the sense? Like, there’s a lot of things, you know, it’s a puzzle trying to figure out, like, what happens. Have you figured out with your brain injury? Like when your deficit’s kicking in, like your memory, do you, do you know, like certain times where there it’s a little bit worse than other days?

Misha: Yeah. I really think that I think stress induces a lot of it. For sure. It’s constant, but then there’s some times where your. Why did I forget that of all things like, and that’s not typical then. And then I start panicking. I’m like, am I just losing it altogether? Like, am I just losing my mind completely

Joe: the panic doesn’t help.

The parenting does not

Misha: help. And then it’s like stress, but then, and then I’m like angry, anxious, and then it brings back all the feelings that I had around that time too. And I asked immediately after I went into a serious depression yeah. Brushing, which is very, very common. And I would wake up every day and tell myself that this isn’t real, what you feel.

I mean, your brain is playing a trick on you, basically. Like, you know, this is your perception of reality is skewed and it’s. It’s not the pain is not real when you, if it feels real, you know, it is real in a sense, but you know, it’s not, it’s not the end of the world. You’re going to make it, but just to be so emotionally just confused and miserable.

And then you’re trying to, especially for me, cause I have a public life for the most part and it was hard to. Go through those kind of things like depression and suffering and being lonely and like, can I see my emotional range is so all over the place. Like I cry, like I’ll just be talking about nothing.

Like nothing. I’m just crying. They make five, everyone makes fun of me. Not because of they’re like, oh, we should look to the cloud and just crying. It’s true. I was just, fuck you guys. I’m like, that’s how it is. You know?

Joe: That’s okay. I do the same thing. And I’m a guy at the drop of a hat. I’m in tears. I’m watching a commercial.

My God. That was so sweet. And I’m just like in tears, it’s the

Misha: worst. Yeah. It’s not one. It’s just like this. Here we go. You know, it’s just going to come on and then, but it was difficult to ha and then have that be such a big dramatic change too. And then you’re these internal battles that you’re having with yourself.

And then now, like for me, I was so bent on. Making it a positive thing and to be exemplary to other survivors and to anyone that’s ever struggled with anything. And I firmly believe that I wanted to be the one to say, you can get through anything. And I believe that, but I had my hurts and my pains as like, almost like a sacrifice for that cause so that on the surface I’m, you know,

Joe: positive and everything.

It’s, it’s the worst thing to do for yourself also. I almost cried right now when you saying that, because it means the world to me that you have the same kind of the same heart that I have, I do this. And at a certain point, I wanted to give this up. I was like, I it’s too overwhelming. It’s too much. I can’t do it.

And then a survivor reached out and she’s just like, she saved my recovery. She was like, she said, I gave her in her husband, hope broke down. And I realized in that moment, this is bigger than me. Are you a stroke or brain injury survivor looking for community and support? Well, the neuro nerds are here to help join our hashtag YUSA rock Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/nuso rock to connect with other survivors like you plus reap other inspirational brain injury survivor stories on Joe’s blog at Joso rockstar, punk flash you so rocket and submit your stories there as well.

We want to hear them and remember you so wrong.

You know, it’s bigger than me. So there’s too many people out there that need to know that they can make it. You know, you sharing your story, you being this vulnerable, you just crying whenever you need to. That’s showing other people out there that like, oh, I can do that too. You

Misha: know, it’s amazing. The messages that I’m sure.

I can’t even imagine the messages that you got, but I get, I’ve gotten dozens and dozens from people, a lot of people, and they’ve actually watched the, there’s a, there’s a clean version of my it’s like a clip on YouTube. Is

Joe: it about five

Misha: minutes? It’s like, yeah. It’s

Joe: did you watch? I just, I just watched it this morning and I’m going to be full disclosure.

I’m always honest with my people. I cried like a little girl, like I just, the waterworks hit and it, this is, there’s a reason here. Misha, I’m wearing the shirt that I’m wearing. This is my, I almost died shirt. It’s one of the most difficult things to say out loud. The first time I remember it was my first full year.

I couldn’t utter the phrase. I had a stroke. I almost died because I would just lose it because then it made it real. I there’s a company, two survivors, uh, sisters, and, uh, it’s called like it or not lion apparel. And it says I almost died. So I wear this with pride. Now I talk about it all the time by the cartoon character.

I basically wear the exact same thing every day. It’s it’s taking back the power from this phrase, because the reality is we did almost die. Now you can look at it, you can go two different ways. I almost died. That is the saddest most impactful thing to ever happen in my life. It’s depressing. It’s crazy.

I miss my old diesel, like down this really dark rabbit hole, or it’s a choice you can say, yes, I almost died, but I didn’t. I did it. I’m here. Exactly. I’m here. Why am I here? Am I here to complain and be bitter and angry and frustrated and sad? Or am I here to truly live the life? I feel like I was meant to live, right.

I’ve chosen to be better. I’ve chosen to break old habits to break the cycle of the, of my upbringing to help inspire and hopefully be a pillar in this community and a beacon of light because I know that’s what I needed. And that’s what I want to give to. This is what I want to give to this world, you know, give back to our community, which is so beautiful.

You mentioned feeling isolated and I say this frequently, now isolation does not come from not having people around isolation comes from not feeling understood. And after a brain injury, it’s almost impossible for a army. That’s what I call people without brain injuries. It’s almost impossible for a normie to understand what it’s like for us to live.

Function, wake up with a brain injury. So that’s why it’s so essential. That’s why it’s so important that we connect in the community. Um, where you able to speak with other survivors early in recovery?

Misha: No, not really early on, because I didn’t have, I didn’t have resources at that point or I didn’t seek them.

I knew there were resources, but I really wanted to deal with it. At first. It was like, it was great because that like positivity that I had, it really was genuine and fueled that journey. That’s what made me want to do the documentary. I was like, we need to, to show the world one because I do porn. It’s difficult to because good people don’t care.

People in the adult industry for the most part, right? You have your role you’re in your purpose. No one cares that you have health problems or kids or families. They don’t care it’s. So my mission was to, it always has been to humanize the industry that I’m in, and this was an opportunity. And I felt that was my purpose and my calling and doing so and getting when I started getting the messages, because slowly stuff were, you know, the clips and the YouTube clips of my interview after the stroke came out before the movie did.

And that’s when I started getting messages from survivors and I save all of them and I respond to all of them too. And I love that. Like, I don’t respond to anybody’s messages, but I, I, oh, whenever I see a stroke one, I just like, and it, and I started crying honestly, and it just breaks my heart. Right. But I, and I know their pain and I actually had this girl reach out to me.

Recently. And she was inspired by my YouTube video, the interview, uh, to reach out. And she was saying that that really made her feel better and she hasn’t left her house in months. And she actually went out and walked her dogs, things like that. Like, I don’t care if I never do anything else in my wife.

That’s why we do these things. And it does like it. I’m not going to like hide the fact that it takes a huge portion of us to do so it’s not easy to do it is I would consider it a sacrifice, but it’s so worth it to be that example for people because you’re saving people’s lives at the very least, like you’re putting a smile on someone’s face that.

Have had without you, they may not have had access to resources. They may not have understood what strokes were now. Hopefully they can recognize and to be kinder to people too, that have recovered from these things, but for survivors to come together over other people’s strokes, because I have kind of a public, you know, stroke.

And I’m lucky that I did because I’m lucky that I’m in the position that I’m in. I’m lucky that I have the job that I have that drew attention to it because it’s so wonderful to hear from people. And I’ve loved talking with them. I just love it. I love hearing their stories and I, this is what I want to do.

And like you said, too, it’s like, this is our cause now everything in my life revolves around. Wanting to help people and wanting to even just to listen

Joe: wild, isn’t it, it’s wild. It’s, it’s, uh, it’s something it’s indescribable. This thing that I think you and I both have where it’s just like, you know, it’s, it’s an instinctive thing where it’s like, I not, I want to help.

I have to help and I’m going to get it despite how tired I am. Like I’ll always push through because I do feel that it’s, it’s bigger than me, you know? Like, and you it’s, it’s the reach that you and I have, not just you and I, any of us in the community, anytime we share a story, we’re making the world a better place.

We’re changing lives. We’re like we’re legitimately changing lives, even if it’s just while I brought a smile to that, person’s face that. That moment of connection can actually save a life. Really can that on top of that, where bringing awareness to people who didn’t really know what these things are, hopefully we can prevent people from being part of this really cool kids club, you know, and have a little bit more empathy and understanding out there in the world.

Also, when I talk about reach a lot, so for every one survivor that we connect with and change the trajectory of their recovery, make them feel a little bit better. So now they’re on, you know, an upward trajectory. They are now. We didn’t just change their life. We changed the life of the people that they’re around their friends or family, significant others.

Coworkers strangers they connect with from point a to point B, because they’re going to be happier. They’re going to be a little bit more joyous. Maybe they’ll say hi and compliment somebody else. Start a conversation, wear a t-shirt that says I almost died and explain exactly what happens to them. You know, this is how we change the world one survivor at a time, but we have to do it by being open, um, with, with each other and connecting and, and I love that you have that heart.

And he says, it’s amazing. Like I, I, and also I love the mental work that you’ve put into this one thing I will push back on is we can’t be toxically positive. I was toxic to be positive for years. I had a friend of mine shake me down on my core when she hit me with, are you genuinely this positive or are you just so afraid of the negative that you’ll do anything?

Not to confront it. And I was like whole

Misha: thought dressed.

Joe: It really. It really is for a full day. I think I was depressed because I realized I am so afraid of the negativity. Cause I, I joke that I’m a recovering Catholic, so I carry a lot of Catholic guilt

there. There’s the connection where I was brought up. Don’t convenience. Anybody don’t inconvenience anybody. Don’t tell them about your problems. If you have an issue, just shove it down. Pretend everything is fine. Nobody wants to hear this stuff, which is, I grew up with that well into my thirties. And then it’s like that wasn’t good.

It wasn’t good. So I had to break that, that cycle. I had to break it. It wasn’t good. So now it’s not, um, it’s not normal for me to talk about this stuff. Like it, it almost, it’s weird to share one of your, or if somebody like pisses me off, it makes me angry. It’s not my go-to to be like, Hey. Don’t do that.

That makes me feel this way. I don’t, I didn’t know what boundaries were, you know, so now, like I love boundaries and I love self care and I love acknowledging the fact that, Hey, you know what, I’m, I’m pretty depressed right now. Like, but it’s just a moment in time. You’re right. Depression is like a beast, right.

It’s not true. It’ll make you feel things that aren’t real. It’ll make you feel like a burden. It’ll make you feel like, you know, it just it’s it’s I joke. It’s like, it’s like Gollum, you know, it’s like, just this, this, this thing, that’s turning you into something else. Um, it’s a monster, but it’s a liar, you know, but I do say, feel your feelings.

If you’re feeling depressed and anxious and sad, feel sad, you know, your feelings are real, but once you feel those feelings, take a step back and say, okay, now is this the reality? Right? If you can do that, I think you’ll be in a much better place. Like emotionally, you seem like you’re in a really, really good emotional place.

Was that work or are you naturally this, like in tune with your.

Misha: I’ve always been really in tune with myself. I think that’s what part of the issue was with, with being sort of pressed after the stroke is I felt like I lost that connection to myself and my awareness of how I was feeling, because I couldn’t decipher what was actually me feeling it or actually my damaged brain.

Um, it was putting out different because it changed me so much internally, um, that I had to almost like get to know myself again and to figure out what triggered me or how I handle situations. I’ve always been very in tune with myself. So when that connection got disrupted on such a severe level, it threw me into total chaos and I’m just now starting to.

Uh, be more honest about that with myself and with others, because like you said, it’s like toxic positivity and when you’re like a martyr for their cause, you know, you can’t, I felt like I, I couldn’t, I mean, I shared publicly when I was crying. That was honest. That was real. That’s how I felt. But since then, you know, I’ve always been and I still will be continue to be.

And I do genuinely believe in the cause, but I never before would be like, I started drinking a lot after my stroke that no one really knew I hit it. That would make things worse and that would spiral. And so like some of these things, cause I just didn’t feel normal. You know, I just felt abnormal. I was like, I’m going to drink.

It makes me feel a little bit better.

Joe: You’re trying to numb

Misha: yourself out. And so then I started catching myself where I’m like, I was denying that I had an issue. I knew I had an issue the whole time, but I, it started getting worse and worse and worse than it is. You really need to, to calm down on this.

And I still deny it to most people that there ever was an issue or is an issue. And that’s always been kind of my go-to, but it’s crazy because I’ve never been, had an addictive personality to anything, but the last year I’ve have struggled with alcoholism.

Joe: Okay. Can I tell you what you you’ve never had either.

You’ve never had a brain injury, you know, it’s, you’ve never had to live with a brain injury. It shifts everything. You literally you’re a new. Yeah, you have to get to know who you are, which in turn, you have to kind of reintroduce yourself to society and your friends and your family and your loved ones again, on top of that, you have to figure out, you know, like, well, which way do I want to go?

You know, who am I going to be now? Where am I going to evolve? Or am I going to devolve? Like you have to figure all this stuff out. And the thing is, there’s no like end date to this. No, there’s no like, oh, that’s it. No, it’s, it’s ongoing. You, you can have dips. That’s okay. Just like, let’s not stay now.

Let’s

Misha: not do that. Well, and that’s what I think the biggest thing was, is when I acknowledge it and allow myself a minute, that’s what I was telling my friend. I’m like, give yourself a minute, which could equate to like three days or week or whatever it is, you know, give yourself that time to be a mess, to be whatever you want to be.

And to be totally honest and brutally honest with yourself, like, so now. And that has changed for me in so many positive ways, because now I’m like, you know what? I don’t want to continue to hide everything. I don’t want to continue to pretend everything’s fine. It’s not fine. I’m depressed. I, you know, I’ve thought about suicide and I never would have before.

I’ve, you know, and I have a son that I take care of myself. So it’s like, you know, I never would think that, but my brain is not well. So what I’ve decided is, you know, if this isn’t working, that you stepped back. And so, and I said, give yourself like, and I never did that before. I’m a workaholic. I went back to work after I had a stroke.

I was shooting scenes two weeks later.

Yeah. My comeback scene was two weeks later. I had a heart monitor on, in my comments

again

Joe: in the nicest way possible. No shit. Nobody would say do that. That’s

Misha: crazy. It never went like now. Cause I’ve had, I think like, cause I didn’t have a break. I was depressed, but I didn’t have like a breakdown until like recently. Um, I had. Almost to the year point here and now I’m breaking down, but I think it’s more, it approaches,

Joe: I mean, real, it’s becoming more and more real on top of the fact that your neurons are connecting in a way that they haven’t before now and not to not to throw you for a loop.

This might happen again. Year two, year two is when all your like, neurons like reconnect the, and then you, your true recovery will start from everybody that I’ve talked to from every, like I thought I was dipping. I really thought that because I was like, oh, I don’t have any of the fog and the fatigue.

And maybe about a year. And like eight, nine months, I felt like I was brand new. I was exhausted all the time. I was falling asleep, mid sentence. I was like, I’m reverting. Like I’m going backwards. When I talk to, um, a really, really good friend of mine, you know, Dr. Karen Sullivan, she explained to me, she was like, no, no, no, no, your brain is actually truly healing.

So the exhaustion you’re feeling is actually everything connecting the way it’s. Interesting. So she’s like, you’re not reverting, you’re actually healing. And I was like, oh,

the depression, it’s a steady thing, depression, you know, because again, we are brand new people. We’re dealing with this really life altering events that happened to us that nobody could possibly understand except for us. Right. And so dealing with that by yourself, it’s it must, it’s overwhelming. It’s to the point where like, I don’t want to do this anymore.

I don’t that every time I would feel that way because I am right there. Like I’ve had these thoughts too, because anything is better than this. Anything that is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Now in the moment, it doesn’t seem temporary in the moment, seems like this is just what life is, and it’s never going to get anywhere

Misha: and it’s never going to change.

And this is a wire keep doing this, you know,

Joe: that’s Gollum, that’s Gollum talking. That’s that demon messing with you and lying to you. You know? So in those moments, you know, if you can find some kind of help, find somebody to talk to, Hey, the neuro nerds, we are always here to help, you know, reach out to somebody cause you don’t have to go through this thing alone.

This is the one thing I love about our community. Everybody is so helpful for the most part. Wonderful

Misha: wonder. Yeah. For the most part, it has to be one or two, a couple of those there’s I love this community so much. That’s why I like it truly of everything that I do, you know, getting even. It’s just the best thing in the world to me and for me, um, because it makes me so happy and to know that people will listen to it and gain something from it.

Right. It’s like, it’s just the most wonderful healing part of my recovery is, is this, um, I love it. I absolutely love it. And when I get overwhelmed with stuff too, I want to just like throwing the towel it’s I save those messages so that I’m like, you, you can’t turn your back to people. You can have a minute, you can

Joe: have your

Misha: feelings.

And I honestly, I was kind of publicly kind of as having a minute. I think people thought I was going to let go Brittany and shave at my head and everything for a second. Cause I’m not, I’m very like, I, if something’s bothering me, I. No, it’s great. Everything. Everything’s fine. You know, and I always have been, so when I ha I was like, and when I decided that I’m allowing myself to have a minute, then I went the whole world though.

I was having a minute and people were like scared of that, but it was honest. And that’s the way I said, I was like, honestly, I’m not okay right now. And it’s okay. It’s not be okay.

Joe: I am so proud of you for doing that because that’s a massive step. It really is. It’s not, it’s not easy. It’s not easy

Misha: judgment. And

Joe: here there’s a lot of people out there who are just like, I never say broken you. And I we’re like battered and bruised. We’re never broken because we’ve made the choice to be better.

Right. There are a lot of broken people out there because they’ve decided to just not do anything about it. And just like the feed into Gollum and listen to God. And we’re like, oh God, fuck off. We’re going to be okay. So the fact that you made those moves and the fact that you’re like, you know what, I have to be this, I’m going to do this.

I’m so proud of you because I know how difficult it is. It’s so hard, but you’re doing it, you’re doing it. And I hope you understand how big of a deal that is. So on your one-year stroke. Aversary I hope you fucking celebrate like hard and really take a step back and be so proud of your. Where you were and where you are right now, I’m sure is just it, you won’t even recognize the people.

No, no.

Misha: Well, and that’s the beautiful part about it and that’s what I’ve said. It’s like, it gave me exactly what I needed at the time I needed it. Um, in more ways than one, you know, um, one even professionally gave me a platform, but it gave me a progress because before that I was kind of lost in work. I didn’t really not feel like at home anywhere, like relationship issues.

And I always have kind of felt like a lost puppy, um, and a sense, like just not really fitting into anything or any, you know, I just never really knew what I wanted to do. And then obviously porn was a hundred percent what I wanted to do forever and I just denied it. But then when I got into it, I just, I just felt.

Like blah, like a bag in the wind. And when this happened, as upsetting as it was, and it, you know, causing all these different emotional challenges and whatnot, but it gave me true purpose and joy and it makes me just so grateful every day for just having the opportunity to do something where I really said, do nothing if I want to.

Right. But to change other people’s lives and to, to help other people, there’s no greater gift in the world than that.

Joe: That’s it wild? Isn’t it like the feeling that you get from helping another, especially somebody else going through something that we’ve gone through. I kind of see it as like, there’s a lot of stuff that I wish I had at the time. I didn’t, so I want. To give that to people. I don’t want people to go through the things that I went through.

There are a lot of dicks out there who were like, no, well, I didn’t do it. And they, no, no, no, no. I want to make this world better for people as opposed to just a wall I went through. So you have to go through it too. It’s like, no, like let’s be better. Let’s be kind. I agree. 20, 22, don’t be a Dick.

Misha: Yeah.

Seriously just be kind to others. And you never know what someone is going through. So used to be an asshole to someone that you don’t know what they’re going through

Joe: as a brain injury survivor. I, I know how difficult getting through a mundane, boring have nothing to do day is sometimes it’s almost impossible.

It’s like a Herculean feat just to get through a nothing day, let alone everything. And I got to tell you almost everyone I speak to, they do it with such grace, smile on their face, pushing through, despite the fact that internally. Chaos. Yeah, it really is like you wouldn’t understand. So be kind to everybody again, just because look, you and I, we carry this weight really well.

I agree. Does not mean that it’s not fucking hell. Yeah, it’s so heavy emotionally. This is so heavy recovery. Sometimes it’s so dark. It’s so terrible. And I’ve said this and I’ve seen it. You know how they say it’s so bad? I would never wish it on my worst enemy. I would 100% wish it on my worst enemy.

They’re your worst enemy. Of course you want to wish these horrible things on them.

Misha: I never understood that expression either. I’d be like, well, yeah. I mean, if that’s that bad, then you

Joe: definitely wish that. But that being said, be kind like really to everybody, because you never know the wars that that person is fighting, you know, behind the scenes.

And again, really take this in just because we carry this weight well does not mean it’s not heavy. This is really, really rough. You do carry this weight. Well, you really do. And I’m really, really impressed with how kind and not that I expected you to be true.

Misha: I didn’t, you know,

Joe: there, there there’s some people like I’m, I’m like modern day hippie, you know, like I smoke weed.

I wear like natural deodorant and modern day heavy Joe. So like I feed off of people’s energy. You have like a great aura about you. Like you really do. You’re you’re so kind. And I really appreciate how you’re just like, Hey, I want to help this community. And I love that. And it speaks to me. And I just appreciate that so much.

This is the point of the show where we are the neuro nerds over here. So I do have to ask Misha, what is your, nerdom

Misha: a learner, the rains

Joe: stop. Stop.

Misha: Oh yeah. So I have, uh, I don’t know if you can see it. That’s the ring in Sarano and then I have my whole like, oh my. Oh, my it’s

Joe: the, I have. So are you serious?

This is the one episode that Lauren is going to be so jealous that she is not

Misha: on like $10,000 worth of word of the rings memorabilia that I’ve been collecting for years. I have like swords and like,

Joe: okay, I am going to connect you with Lauren because that needs to happen. And Lauren is, I always say, she’s the James Brown of everything she does.

She’s like the busiest human being in the world. She will take time for this connection. Lauren speaks several different languages because she’s a genius and it’s annoying. She also speaks some Elvis.

Misha: I didn’t. I was learning for a while too. Are you a nerd?

I wear, my ear is like in the prosthetics and I have all the gowns and I go to like, if they ever have, they don’t have them much anymore, but then marathons at the theater, we would camp out in a tent and

Joe: go, I did that once. Um, um, uh Felisa and I, we went to see the, the Lord of the rings trilogy. The director’s cut the ones that are like four and a half hours.

So. I think it was like 13 or 14 straight hours in a theater with a 20 minute breaks. Basically we almost got blood clots sitting there for so long. It was the most magnificent moment of my life. It was like so good. It was like the best thing ever. You are such a nerd and I love it. Isn’t that

Misha: great. I have a, the local newspaper and Reno, Nevada did this whole article about me, about my collection.

Cause they’re just like, it was so wild.

Joe: I thought you were pretty cool. You’re like on another level now, like I’m super like I’m a star wars guy. I was born in 77. I was born in 77. So like, oh yeah. I got Jango Fett in the background

Misha: over here. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Joe: Star wars tattoos. So I have like my, um, Harry Potter tattoo, but then I have like Thai fighters and.

So I I’m big star wars guy. Lauren is Lord of the rings all day, every day don’t ever get don’t even get her started on the Hobbit. She’ll just like break it down and oh yeah. Nerd, rage will kick in. She’s amazing. This is,

this is amazing. Like I honestly I’m taking

Misha: it back. Isn’t that crazy? That is,

Joe: you know what? Yes, yes. And yes, there, this, this is the thing that has to happen. Like, look, I always say, look, we are all part of this amazing cool kids club. Like we’re all family here. Like your family, like on another level now, because I had no idea that you were like super nerdy, like this, there’s like a delicious type of nerdom that when it comes to like Saifai and like fairy tale, So like more Lord of the rings, like Dungeons and dragons, that’s like, seriously, are you Dungeons

Misha: and dragons?

You know, I never got into Dungeons and dragons. You would expect it. You would

Joe: expect and tried to get me in a Dungeons dragons. And at some point I’m going to do it and I’m going to nerd shame her the entire time. I understand, I understand the irony. I’m a nerd. I get them on my corner. I’m like, they’re all levels.

And as cool as you are, as cool as Lauren is, I will nerd shame you guys all day every day. This is incredible Misha. I gotta tell you, I, this has been a breath of fresh air. It really has been, it’s been a lot of fun. I would love to have you back on at some point to continue this conversation, because I think you’re brilliant and I love your passion for helping.

Like, I really do a friend of mine, Dina, uh, from TAF, uh, the, the aneurysm and AVM foundation. She said something, um, where she said, she’s a surface. She realized early on in life that she’s a servant. She lives to serve people and the community and her community just so happens to be our community. And I thought about that and I was like, I don’t like that.

I like the word servant. I didn’t like that. But the more and more I thought about it, I’m like, oh my God, I I’m a S I’m a servant. I’m a servant to our community because I would do anything for any of us. I’d run through a brick wall for any of us, if it meant, you know, helping you on your journey. Cause I understand how difficult this is.

So, um, you are, you are right there with me. You are a helper. I’m not gonna say servant. You are a, an incredible, amazing helper in this community. And I just, I love your passion. And I look forward to seeing like what we can do as a community, as a collective to change the world for all of us. Amazing.

Misha: I agree.

I, um, I, I’m sorry. Looking forward to the future, I’m thrilled that I was able to come on and we’re BFFs now. I’m so excited. I can’t wait

Joe: to make fun of you more for a Lord of the rings.

Misha: What are you doing? Rings nerd.

Joe: You nerd. So the point of the show where we get all the socials, if they wanted to reach out to you, it means you’re working. They reach out to you. My

Misha: Instagram is the Misha Montana. As far as my Twitter is the mission Montana. There’s heavy adult stuff on my Twitter for fair warning.

So are rated x-ray to, uh, Twitter. Um, I, my website is Misha, montana.com. I’m actually working right now on which I will show you when I’m done with it. I doodle stick figures like stroke, cause I can’t draw. Sorry. Just take a Sharpie and do like doodle stick figures. So I’m doing that in a book and it’s kind of like, it’s a weird, it’s an explicit stick figures, right?

So I’m turning it into a coffee table book that I want to donate any of the proceeds to the, to the American stroke association. So, um, I’m actually in the top 30 porn star contest right now to where my charity is the stroke foundation, our stroke.org. So, so there’s some cool stuff coming in tears. If you go to my Instagram and click all the rinks, all my links, then you can see all the crazy things, random things I do.

Joe: I am so on board with that. I think that’s amazing. I love that you’re doing something creative. You’re this, you’re doing something in your field and you’re doing it for our community. This is just incredible

Misha: more.

Joe: It’s actually pretty amazing. Also I love like the double entendre of your industry and donating to the stroke association. So I mean, the

Misha: chunks are there. You should, you have no idea how many great captions I have on Instagram, where they’re all extroverted and give her like these stroke captions are coming up with are just like so good.

I’m like, yeah, because like, it’s like, you know, one star, two star, and then like, there. Dirt biker that I know that was involved. And every time I said, it’s like one stroke, two stroke, four stroke, slick stroked out, you know, cause it’s just like, there’s so much you can do with it. You can just do all these

Joe: things, endless entertainment.

So obviously you definitely have to go, uh, follow Meesha everywhere. Um, you could also attempt to reach out and connect with my tiny, beautiful ass kicking goals. Lauren Lauren L Manzano on Instagram, reach out to me at Joseph rocks and all the socials reach out to us. The neuro nerds at the neuro center.

Everyone Misha. I gotta tell you, like, really this has been amazing. I really feel that, you know, you’re doing just a tremendous help for our community and I’m so thankful for it. I’m so excited for your one-year stroke. Aversary also, I failed to mention we’re recording this on international woman’s day.

And I specifically, you know, I was like, there’s no better way to celebrate international women’s day than sharing, having this conversation. And you sharing your story. You know, I’m speaking to a powerful warrior rockstar queen on this beautiful day. So am really thankful for you. I, I truly am on when this episode airs, I believe it’s on the fourth.

I think the 14th, that’s going to be a spectacular day. And I hope that day you celebrate you celebrate hard, cause I will be celebrating you because you made it. And we, we, we both made it. We’re here to live. We’re here to live our best lives. Our new evolved versions of ourselves because we almost died and now we’re here to truly live.

So Misha on that. Incredible. We are now. BFS because you’re a big nerd. I’m a big nerd. I will nerd shame you forever notes. These neuro nerds are out.

You are amazing. I had no idea that there was this type of,

Misha: I know, see that’s what I hit.

If you enjoy listening to

Joe: this podcast, please consider leaving us a five star review on the apple podcast app, your reviews help us grow and reach more listeners. Like you bind us by searching for the neural nerds on the apple podcast app today.